bestrongandcourageous

I want to say how it feels
how its much more like acid in my mouth rather than a distant memory
how it more similar to the blade of a knife than to a tear

it like this you see
when I remember you
when I remember us
I remember that there is no us
and there is no you
there is only a void
a void with the weight of a hundred waves slammed together
much more like the weight of a kiss never had or forgotten

I go back to touching your hand
when now I can’t even have your voice
can’t even have the dream of seeing your face

ah your face
I cannot find a beauty
a goodness
that will have enough to say about it
its like a cloud on a warm day
the leaves of a sheltering tree
or the wind that passes through them

and then there is no you
there is no us
only the pain of a memory revisited
a locked door with no key
no hinge
only solid walls, lengthy and firm

you are that wall
keeping me away as one would a stray dog
dirty and forgotten

its like the stars on a clear evening
bright and existing
yet a universe away

like hair that passes through my fingers
soft and gentle
and then gone

that is how it feels
and more