Now is where our hearts reside
yours in pride and freedom
mine in thorns and stains
there was once then
where your and mine
walked hand in hand
then there is later
where you promised pain
and I embraced it
…I know
its over
and we wasted it
our vows
our promises
and a million pixels
worth of memories
one thing I don’t get
…if I was the one who left
why am I the one still here?
…if I was the one who ended it
why am I the one who still loves?
We do not fight for what we already have
nor do we travel to where we have been
to seek what is lost and push through
is to clearly see what is unseen
grasp
grasp the clouds of hope
hold fast to the shower
that falls
when the sun
has grown weary
of beating its hard rays
and gives way
to the coolness
of the rain
claw
claw through the muddied past
kick off the dirt of despair
and rush into the haze
of an inevitable tomorrow
an inch now is enough
a single moment
to make it past
the second where your heart
was held captive
i want to send you my messages
I want to call so I’ll hear your voice
I want to know you’re well
I want to know you’re where you’re supposed to be
I want to do all these things
but I won’t
for now I want you to discover me all over again
I want you to be the one who will choose to seek me
but I do want to be found
by you
and I’ll be striding just far enough
for you to take that extra step
then I’ll turn around and say
"I’ve been yours all along anyway."
I’ve read somewhere…
"Honour is not given for one who has received,
but is rewarded for one who has given"
if the culmination of
all things offered
all things sacrificed
is honor.
then I bestow the honor to Him.
and it’s alive
and it’s there
breathing and pulsating
though hidden beneath an icy coccoon
it is there
waiting for its season
as I do
What can I say to subdue my conscience?
What words are enough to quiet the turbulent soul?
There is no act, nor speech nor a single vanishing memory
that can compete with the fear of a muddled tomorrow, of a veiled future.
My mind cannot conceive the thought of a dawn without you or
an evening sky devoid of your presence. Like dry grass I am parched without
you, my lungs gasp for a mere breath, or a slight hint of your passing, so that
I may be able to live again, and sustain myself with the vision of you.
Can you not see the pit of torment I am in?
Falling through an inescapable hole filled with outstretched
hands that grasp for me, only to let me go…over and over again. Like a
flickering candle hope swings back and forth, tossed about like waves on a troubled
sea, here, then gone again, as if mocking me in its existence.
There are no words, nor promises nor covenants between your
heart and mine.
You let no letters pass your lips and into mine, I ache for
them but none come my way.
There is only a glance, or a stolen memory that is forced
into the present, of hands clasped and lips pressed tightly together. And at
the same moment, like a wisp or a breath, it is gone once more, to be replaced
by a memory and a sore hope of what still lingers in the deep recesses of your
heart and mine.
I catch that fleeting image, and hold it tightly to my
breast, for it is the star that fell and is caught up, for one to wish
upon it again.
You stand steps ahead
and I strain to keep up with you
some times
you stay still
and let me reach you
along with all that
we were
and all that
we still could be
most times
you pace
faster than I
and all I have
is a glance
of your flowing hair
what I wonder is
do you ever look back
to see
if I still follow
I need to believe that it can still happen
that beyond hope, beyond fear and beyond sanity
there are still things worth fighting for
I need to believe that it still exists
love that pushes on no matter what
if there is someone out there
who can believe in it
only because I fight for it
then it makes
all the tears
all the pain
worth it
people hardly fight
for what they believe in anymore
and if I can
maybe
show them that
there is still
hope
